If we are facebook friends, I am sure you are well aware that I have a goal, nay a life long ambition to be a contestant on the television show "The Block" in 2011..provided they run another series. Which after reading this I'm pretty sure they will. (If anyone has contacts at channel 9, pass this on!).
The reasons why I have this dream are pretty stock standard. I want to win the cash, I have access to a competent tradesman in the form of my boyfriend and ...I'd get to be on TV!...This may come as a surprise to most..but I'm a bit of an attention whore.
The reasons why I should be on the block are far more interesting. I am going to risk this blog sounding more like an audition letter than 3 paragraphs of me making fun of myself as I need to communicate my dreams!
Dear producers of The Block,
I have complied a list of reasons why you should cast me (the lead role) and my boyfriend Gav (the supporting act) in the next series of you're television show "The Block".
Reason number 1: A good combination of novice and know how! I will be able to provide the show with the needed blunders and bad luck that create television gold and Gav will always pull through and save the day, with his skill and good work ethic. Ratings gold!
Reason number 2: Drama. If you look up the definition of a drama queen you'll most defiantly find my boyfriends name there. Tears, tantrums, door slamming, he'll do it all, and frequently!
Reason number 3: Hilarious Banter. We will have you're audience in stitches with our witty conversations and good ol' fashion sense of humour. "Knock knock" "Who's there?" We are!.. because we're on the block..and doing most of our competing behind a door, ect ect.
Reason number 4: At the time of air I will be a registered nurse...I'm sure you can take your camera's onto whatever ward I am working on and I can be painted as somewhat of a Mother Theresa type, helping the sick and whatnot...ratings gold again!
Reason number 5: Sibling overseas, wouldn't that be a great episode?! The stress and pressure has become to much, we are at breaking point, then miraculously my sister flies in from Canada...stay tuned for the emotional reunion.
Reason number 6: We scrub up alright. Don't get me wrong, Gav and I are you're average looking couple next door. But what a shock when we are on the front cover of Women's Weekly all airbrushed and glowing. "Couple from the 'Burbs Gets Glam". Now that story will sell!
Reason number 7: We're pretty low maintenance as far as living standards go. We shower at best 3-4 times per week, so we're not going to bust your balls if the water gets cut off or we run out of gas. Its cool, we live like animals as it is.
Reason number 8: Once again with the nurse thing..you won't have to hire a first aid dude..I can be that dude! I hate to sound like a broken record, but a television promo saying, "Tune in to see how Nurse Bec saved fellow contestants life from freak snake bite on Block"...I mean that shit is going to get ratings! (I am prepared to supply snakes also).
Reason number 9: I am an avid reader of the bi-annual Ikea catalogue which makes me an expert in interior design.
Reason number 10: Passion...not for each other, that's gross, but for the religious institution that is The Block! I vow I will live and breath your show and self promote the thing to death! Hello New Idea exclusive interview into Rebecca Hagan's crazy childhood.
So there you have it. I promise that when the bright lights of my block related stardom begin to heat up I won't change. I will remain the old Bec that you know and love. The only difference is I'll probably be really busy attending BBQ's at Scott Cam's house and channel 9 functions on Eddie McGuire's arm to return your calls...
Until next time
Bec
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